THE QUESTION

Someone asked me today if I was religious and my answer was no; I wouldn’t want to be seen as religious but I do consider myself spiritual. I can’t associate myself with religion because I for one believe that being religious is a slippery slope; one that is hard to maneuver and is an oppressive conception for some. First, how can I condemn my brother or my sister for believing differently than I do? Shouldn’t everyone have the same right to choose for themselves, and decide without fear their path in life? Secondly, I cannot embrace anything that would take a person’s life for simply daring not to agree. You choose freely your philosophy and your way of life; why try to convince another or condemn them when they refuse yours. I see the religious turn their backs on loved ones who dare to live their own lives. I see the religious watch without sorrow as someone die because they dared to choose their own path. I have watched the religious deny children a place in their lives and hearts because their parents dared to choose for themselves. I see on the news in various regions of the world the religious take the life of another in the name of religion. No, I am not and never will be religious. I am not judging the religious because that would make me no better than them. I am not denying the religious their right to judge others for not believing what they believe. I am simply stating what I have witnessed.  I want to live a life led by my love; and not by the dictations of fictitious laws and rules intended to enslave the oppressed. I want to have an open heart that includes everyone no matter their beliefs. I want my heart to also guide me and not just a Book; holy or not. I want to treat each person with tolerance and not judge them based on their beliefs. Who gave me the right to say that you are wrong. I refuse to be anyone’s God

GETTING FIT

Sometimes life is like an uphill climb and the more we climb the more problems and stress we encounter. Just like any hill, the fitter we are the easier the climb. If we are out of shape we will get tired more easily, making the climb physically more challenging. It’s the same thing with life; therefore we need to exercise. Exercise temperance, patience, understanding and love, and not just towards others but towards ourselves. Start off by doing small simple exercises then gradually work our way up. Soon we will notice the benefits. I believe tolerance and a deeper understanding of “self” and others will lead to a happier healthier life. We might develop the tendency to be more         

understanding thus slower to anger. Stretching leads to flexibility. Being flexible and compassionate when dealing with others could eliminate over re-acting to things that won’t matter a year down the road. The rewards can be countless and others around us would definitely notice the transformation. We could also experience less sweating; the small stuff. Exercise is essential to our well-being which can be very helpful while jumping over the hurdles of life. Walking is easy and according to experts it is one of the safest methods of exercise. So walk; walk in the other person’s shoe, before we judge or penalize them too hastily find out the reasons behind their actions. Last but not least breathe; breathe deeply before we lose our cool. I am getting ready to walk so I am breathing deeply as I stretch. Looking for a walking partner; somewhere off…           -Marcia A. Tulloch.  

The best things in life are free!

Even though the proverbial best things in life are free, by no means do they come easy. Achieving the best things even the free; takes effort. The bottom line remains, you can’t expect the best things if you don’t do the right things. Take me for instance, only when I took the necessary steps was I able to enjoy some of the “free” things that life had to offer, and only because I identified earlier on what the best things meant for me based on my value system. I didn't have to venture far but I had to sacrifice a few things such as some of my favourite TV shows, sleeping in on the weekends, and even some of my family time in pursuit of the free. It paid off because, there is nothing I could compare to sitting by a stream or a swift moving river listening to the chirping of birds, with the sun’s rays peeping through the branches like sparkling diamonds at the break of dawn, to the backdrop of the relaxing, melodious sound of the water as it makes its way to the ocean in the cool of a lovely summer’s morning.        

Or watching the sun slowly rising over the city as I sit on top of a hill and breathe in the fresh morning air as the first rays of the sun hits my face (an hours’ journey or more worth every step) or, to watch the sun going down over the horizon, stretched out on my back on grass as soft as carpet, looking up at the infinite sky while clouds floats lazily by; immersed in the warm glow of the setting sun as it permeates my cells and orange is no longer a colour but a feeling. Acutely aware of the fact that as it disappears it is rising somewhere else, ushering in a new day with new promises of hopes and dreams and possibilities like the one I just had. How about to  be in total bliss  as I marvel at the heavens as
the stars sparkle like diamonds, wrapped tightly in my lover’s arms on a cool summer’s night, or watch my children search the night skies for dippers or  shooting stars -  priceless.   These are some of the things that remind me of who I am and where I fit in the bigger scheme of things, and of how minute and temporary I am on this little planet - Earth. Most importantly I had to remember that not everyone valued the same things. It had to be a personal choice, which meant charting my own course and being confident enough not to be influenced by the choice of others. It took courage for me to decide that I didn't want to imitate the self-appointed victors who moonlight as critics of the masses. Even though I crave material beauty like everyone else, I had to deal with the hand life dealt me with self-love, patience and understanding for my own well-being.  I had to reach beyond the physical to the things that made me feel balanced and connected to something greater – Source. Living a life of simplicity; interpreting beauty and success through my own eyes, somewhere off ...

OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

As I sit here this evening my heart is full of gratitude for all the love that surrounds me. I am a rich woman because I am here with my beautiful daughter and my wonderful man and I am so loved by both. We spent the whole day celebrating life and births. A lazy morning, good food and an evening full of laughter. I was outnumbered, and as usual I was the brunt of the jokes but it was awesome. It is a joy to be with these two because it amazes me to see two people so alike when I am the only connection, the common denominator, the tie that binded them together and not genealogy.  They are indeed father and daughter, not by blood but by choice. It was love at first sight even though she was 20 and cynical. She loves him intuitively and he lets her. He loves her instinctively as if he knew she needed him. It’s a relationship I believed she would never experience; a father’s love.  You see, her real dad was diagnosed with cancer when she was 3 and passed on when she was eight. He is the first father figure in the 12 years and he remembers with pride and great joy the first day she called him “dad”. His eyes lights up whenever he retells the story. Today, I was on the outside looking in and the view was beautiful. I was looking at my life. And I am here enjoying it, living in the moment; and wise enough to recognize the wonderful gift that life has bestowed upon me; family.  I don’t mean to get so sentimental but I can’t help it because I know the value of moments like these – Priceless.  Cherishing every moment, living in the here and now, somewhere off …

THE LESSON OF THE PALM

As I got closer to take the picture of this beautiful palm tree on my recent vacation, I was turned off by all the dried shrubs and bushes that surrounded it. Then I noticed something interesting. The palm tree grew above those shrubs and looks splendid with its beautiful blossoms; and if you don’t  look down you would never notice the unsightly shrubs. That was another reminder to me, that neither my situation or station in life, my surroundings, my family or where I come from should  prevent me from being the person that I know I can be.  I can do this by uplifting myself through education, the seeking of knowledge and truth and the conscious effort to grow as a person. I will stand apart by my actions, the words that I speak and the way I carry myself.  I want to be always like this palm tree and separate myself. You can learn so much from nature; they can be such great reminders of how life ought to be… so amazing!   

THIS OLD HOUSE

One cold and snowy day not too long ago I walked past this old house. It is a charming looking house, I wish I  had the courage to ring the bell to see if it was filled with children running around. A big fire place with a blazing fire and  a Grandmother in a wooden rocking chair knitting stockings  and hot apple cider sitting on a big iron stove in a huge country kitchen.

A lesson in Humility

..she walked in about 12:30 and I’m not sure why I took note of her, but it could have been the way she entered the kitchen with an air of superiority. She didn’t stay long or said much to the lady I was assisting, but  from the bits and pieces of their exchange that was audible from where I stood slicing ham,  she would be back to help as soon as she took care of a few other things.  After three separate trips to tell the woman cooking that she would be back shortly, she was in the kitchen talking down to everyone with that same air of superiority. The other ladies all had thick accents identifying them and their diverse backgrounds; some struggled with their English which could have been why she with her proper English and her noticeable American accent felt superior indeed. As my irritation grew I

became more defensive and critical and caught myself thinking of leaving since I was not about to have none of that from her. I felt she could have been friendlier and spoke to us in a nicer way, then suddenly as if in an epiphany  I remembered why I was in that kitchen; I was there to serve. I had volunteered to help give these people a Christmas dinner, so it was no longer about me. I realized that I was committed, not just to my community or the people who we were preparing the meal for, but to me. So, regardless of how that woman was acting or anything else discouraging or unpleasant that may be happening I needed to be in control, not controlled by my emotions and feelings, and because I was committed I needed to humble myself and not be so sensitive. At that moment my defenses came down and I began to serve with joy. Gradually, I no longer noticed the tone of her voice or how unfriendly she sounded, I noticed none of the things that irritated me five minutes before, and it was a reawakening. By the end of the evening she was so full of gratitude for my help, but unbeknown to her I was the grateful one. Something was rekindled in my spirit and I remembered the feeling of fulfillment I got when I served others; she had unknowingly helped restore my spirit of humility. I don’t know about you but for me it takes  humility to cancel any feelings of defensiveness, fear of hurt feelings and misuse. In humility I feel no need to protect or defend myself from what others may say or do to hurt me mentally or emotionally (I am not speaking of violence or physical hurt).  In one of the stories of the bible, it says that the meek shall inherit the earth and I was always a believer in that proverbial expression. I went to help others but instead I was helped, those people left grateful for a free meal and gifts for their children, but I left grateful for the gift of giving, humility and meekness. This all happened yesterday at the corner of Barton and Sanford, in this holiday season when the spirit of giving is at a high, many things are happening off Barton Street and some of them are phenomenal. -Marcia A. Tulloch

IT'S SPRING CLEANING!

Its spring time and I have been busy. I have been doing some spring cleaning. I've been cleaning my closets, my cupboards and yes; my mind, the most important of all. I have been going over the last year, revisiting my plans and my goals and getting rid of the thoughts and actions that has not been moving me closer to the things that I truly desire. Some of my thoughts and actions have been taking me in the opposite direction so I have been doing some spring cleaning. I am doing more of what will bring me closer to my dreams and goals. It was not easy; making hard decisions takes courage. It meant having faith and putting myself first, I had to for the first time loved myself more than I loved anyone else.

I know it is not easy to put ourselves first, especially for women but it is absolutely necessary for our happiness. It is human to want what is best for us, for our families and our loved ones. Women, we love to help make other people’s dreams come true hoping that we will be included in those dreams but it rarely happens. So let us dream our own dreams and work on making “our” dreams come true. I am not saying two people cannot share a common vision but no two dreams can be the same. Ultimately, it is only our dreams we can truly call our own. So go ahead dream your dreams, with determination and faith you will succeed. The weather is nice, the sun is shining… perfect time for some spring cleaning.

CROSSROADS

Crossroads can be a terrifying place especially when you have no clue. Do I go this way or that?  Life is full of crossroads, and we have to take the time to weigh all our odds. We have to make that list in order to make the right decision to ensure that we are going down the right path. Our lives today are so rushed and we usually don't have the luxury of having the time, or the information  we need to
make the choice that is right for us. I try to go with my gut instinct and see where it leads me because I  hear all the time that going with our gut instinct is  always a good way to make the right decision. The problem with that for me  is I am not always sure if that feeling I have in my gut  is a gut instinct or it is just fear. To be honest, when I have an important decision to make I am often leaning towards the path of least resistance, the thing that I believe will make happy. In the past I have taken paths that I believed was the right way to go, was I wrong? would I choose differently? I can't say, because I have no way of knowing what that other path would have lead to. This reminds me of a poem ...

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

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THE WIND AT MY BACK

As I walked home today I felt the force of the wind at my back, it was pushing me which made me walked at a noticeably faster speed. Occasionally a gust of wind would come along and send me into a mini jog. It was then I remembered the phrase “wind at my back”. Ironically, at that moment that particular phrase for me was not just a metaphor but it was literal. I am doing a lot of new and  I like me a lot, I am fun to be with, have a winning smile, a sunny disposition on life and I enjoy helping people, those are  few of the things that I really like about myself. Now that I’m no longer on a treadmill I am taking inventory of my life  and is very  impressed with my strengths and my ability to overcome adversity.  I have since come to appreciate the value of each adversity and the lessons learned, especially the strength that I gained over the course of my life. I found out that it is true that the hotter the battle the sweeter the victory, but to be careful to pick the worthwhile ones. I became euphoric as I realized my capacity to let go of the past and things that are no longer relevant to my life and to look forward always. My capacity to love and my burning desire to make a difference in the lives of others is the thing that I most admire about myself. My capacity for forgiveness is limited but I promise to work on that. The bottom line is that I am a work in progress, as is many of us.  My hope is that this year you will have the wind at your back and you will be able to accomplish at least one thing in your life that has been a lifelong dream. I wish you love, success and peace as you make your way through the obstacles that life has in store for all of us. Life has its challenges and its hurdles for everyone but that is what makes it stimulating, exciting and fulfilling; it is how we handle our adversities that develop our characters and our strengths. Persevering with hope, in gratitude … somewhere off Barton Street.

What is our purpose ?

 What is our purpose on this earth? I don’t believe that we come on this earth to live the life that society outline for us as the successful life, then die. I truly believe there is more to our existence and we all have a duty to find it and fulfill it so this world can be a better place for all. There are too many imbalances and inhumane systems; no one should be starving to death while others are wasting, no one needs to die for lack of medicine while the pharmaceutical companies are making billions in profit.  Not all purposes are grand acts or big gestures; we can’t all be Oprah Winfrey. No one may even notice what you have done not even the person who benefited.  Our assignment may be as simple as to one person which maybe something so small to us but in that person’s life is a life altering experience. We should do what is in our power; some have the power to do great things, others don’t.

      Sometimes we get a feeling to do something which we sometimes pass off as  our mind telling us, it is  a gut feeling or inkling. Time after time I ignore these urges, which I truly believe are my arrows and signs pointing me. If there can be signs and arrows pointing me to the bathrooms in the shopping malls why would something as important as life come without it's own signs.  Occasionally  a neighbor or a friend  needed something but they are too proud or embarrass to say  and I feel the urge to reach out but feel silly or fearful of their reaction to later find out that they desperately needed the help. When I hear that still small voice  I usually shrug it off; that is how I often miss my arrows pointing me to my purpose. Sometimes I allow the actions of a person I could help to deter me  which is my own self-centeredness. Sometimes we think we should be doing something to leave our mark on the  world, but we only need to leave our mark right where we are; in our homes, next door, in our neighborhoods, right there in our communities. I know there are many people out there fulfilling their purposes by volunteering, checking on their neighbors and standing up for the weak and downtrodden in this world. I want to take my place among those people to find my purpose before my final exit from this earth.
      This year I am challenging myself to seek my purpose, I will ask the questions and look for the answers, somewhere inside it will reveal itself to me if I truly desire it.  I will look out for the signs in life, my arrows pointing to my purpose, even right here, "somewhere off ...... "